My Biggest Success | Healing Mentally

I am so very successful. Not because I have a degree, not because I can travel, not because I own nice things.

I am going to tell you my biggest success.

If I asked you what comes to your mind when I say "success", you may think of school, a career, money, a home, a family. That's exactly what I thought. Up to several months ago that is.

I graduated from university with a degree in Psychology and Sociology. I have a career. I bought a new car and I have traveled to California. I can afford to live comfortably. I am blessed to have these experiences and opportunities but they did not make me feel successful. 

I mentioned it in previous blogs, but I I grew up with distressing, intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors as well as anxiety and panic attacks.

As a child and young adult, I was desperate to find something to help me. I didn't care what. My life was passing before my eyes and I was stuck in my own thoughts, never in the present moment.

That was my biggest challenge to date. I spent years of my life practicing yoga, meditation, positive thinking and more to put an end to these thoughts.

And my efforts did not go unnoticed. I begun the healing processes and I started to form new thinking patterns even though I didn't really see the results until later. 

My life changed when I began my spiritual journey, studied Psychology and took a leap of faith in my early 20s. I started to heal. I remember feeling excitement and motivation again. My grades improved and I actually enjoyed studying whereas before it was something I avoided as I was unable to get out of my own head space long enough to have some quality study time.

I took on hobbies too. I discovered I am decent at (and more importantly, love) to draw and paint and do other crafty projects. I have fascination for dance. I love studying people while they dance. I often learn choreography to dance routines I like and when I find the right dance class, I plan on joining. I do yoga and meditate on a near daily basis.

For a lot of people, this might not seem like a big deal. You like to spend time at home and draw. So what? But up until several years ago, my mental state prevented me from expressing myself creatively. Having a poor mental state and not having an outlet to express my creative side contributed to a viscous cycle of anxiety and panic. 

Anyways, fast forward several years later. I was having a conversation with my friend and we were on the subject of mental health, our struggles, and what being happy meant to us. It was then I realized what my biggest accomplishment was.

Mentally, I am free. 

I have finally put the demons inside to head to rest. This has allowed light to shine through and a life of freedom to transpire. And when the demons wake (which they sometimes do), I am mentally strong enough to allow them to be there. I accept and embrace them and because of that, I am much less impacted like them.

I see the world differently now. I am the happiest I have been and I know it will only get better. I did this without therapy, drugs, and treatment. (Not that I'm against this options; at the time, I didn't know they were an option for me).

It took a lot of faith, a lot of change, and a lot of work. But it was worth it. And that it my biggest success in life.

Tell me your biggest success.

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Sincerely,

Ang

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Here are links where I discuss more about my mental state and how I healed:

Do you have repetitive, distressing thoughts? Read this.

Want To Let Go Of A Thought, Fear, Or Worry? Read This For The One Thing You Need To Know.

Do you have repetitive, distressing thoughts? Read this.

There you are. Minding your own business when a thought pops into your head. It could be anything. Then suddenly, a feeling of dread comes over you. The thought is ridiculous. You know that. But it will not leave you. For as long as I can remember, I had these crazy fear-inducing thoughts. They would never leave me! And when it finally did, another thought replaced it.

I remember feeling miserable in high school. I lost interest in just about everything. I felt little joy during Christmas or during other exciting times. I had a tightness in my chest and I remember going home from school with panic attacks. I believe I started to feel depressed.

I always hoped that this was a phase and that when I become an adult, it would go away. Well, in my early 20s these distressing thoughts still raced through my mind. Coincidentally, I majored in Psychology. And I do believe in every way that it was meant to be. I remember studying Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). A certain component of the disorder caught my attention. OCD may be characterized by intrusive, obsessive, and often disturbing thoughts.

I could write a book about my experiences and the sequence of events that helped me gain control of thoughts. Instead, I have complied a list of what helped bring me back to reality.

1. OCD is a mental illness

There is nothing actually wrong with you for having distressing thoughts. Just because you thought of your spouse getting into a car accident does not mean you want them to die. Understanding that this is a disorder helped me so much.

2. Acceptance

This one was scary for me. Let's say you're worried you have a terminal illness and you have 6 months left to live. Accept it. I would tell myself that whatever will be, will be and I will deal with it when (or if) it ever happens. Spoiler alert: it never happened.

3. The majority of what you dwell on don't actually happen.

Just know that not one of my obsessive thoughts ever became a reality. And 90 odd percent of obsessive thoughts do not become a reality.

4. Everyone's brains are weird

Everyone in the world has had weird thoughts pop in their head. You are not alone. But people with obsessive-compulsive tendencies will dwell on these thoughts. But your thoughts does not equate with reality. They... are... just... thoughts.

5. Talk to a professional

I know, it's awkward, "Hey doc. So, I had a thought of a baby's butt and now I'm worried I'm a pedophile". But talking to someone who understands may be the best thing that ever happened to you. I wish I had seen a professional. I could have put all this in the past a long time ago.

6. Your brain is like a muscle

Spend too much time fixated on a thought, and that thought will become stronger than even. This goes for recovery as well. Breaking bad habits takes time so don't expect a complete change overnight. Keep practicing and eventually you will be able to control your thoughts and anxiety.

Becoming worry-free was so surreal. I took on new interests and hobbies and excelled in school. Something I didn't do before because my thoughts would distract and drain me.

Do I still have OCD? No, I don’t think so. Thoughts and anxiety no longer negatively affect my daily life. Do I still have obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I do. But the more time that passes, the stronger I become.

I can't wait for you experience that moment when you realize you are finally on your way to becoming worry-free. And I hope this is the beginning for you, if you haven't started already. And when feel yourself sink back into your thoughts, I hope you remember something  I said and brings you back to reality. Back to living and just being happy.  

Angie