What To Do When You Feel Jealous | Fast & Easy Way To Stop Feeling Jealous

You can't be happy for others until you are happy for yourself.

It's so hard sometimes. It seems that your peers, friends, and family are always one step ahead of you. Your friend is getting married while you're just falling in love. Your sister bought her first home while you're only now establishing your career. Your cousin is making a career off his art work while you just enrolled in beginners dance lessons.

You find yourself feeling jealousy towards those who seem to be ahead of you. You struggle with coming to terms with this and your jealousy transpires into resent. You feel disgusted with yourself.

I don't know about you, but I want to be the type of person to feel happy for other's successes. And usually I do! But I am only human and I have imperfect moments. That's OK though. It means I still need to keep searching to understand myself a little better. And I love learning new things about myself.

I had an off day today. I felt bitterness and jealousy which left me in an emotional state. I don't like that feeling so I had to center myself. I mediated. And I came to the realization that we cannot feel happy for others when we are not happy for ourselves. When we are happy for ourselves, then we can feel happy for others.

But isn't that egocentric? Well... yes and no. We really need to learn to love and be happy for ourselves first and foremost. That's part of self love and it's crucial for our well-being. At the same time, we shouldn't just feel happy for other's when we have something that makes us look "equal to" or "better than" someone. Do you get what I'm saying? First, we need to learn to be truly happy and proud of ourselves first. Then, we can learn to be truly happy for others. I have some steps to help you on this journey.

1. Acknowledge That You Feel Jealous

I do not believe in suppressing emotions. Even negative ones. We are human and we reserve the right to feel every emotion and feeling there is. (I wrote a blog on that which I will link below). Acknowledge to yourself that you feel jealous. There is no shame in that. It happens to all of us.

2. Ask Yourself Why Your Are Jealous

Avoid superficial answers and dig a little deeper. Are you jealous your friend is getting married because you are not satisfied with your partner? Are you jealous that your sister is making a career from her art because it reminds you of your failed attempts at publishing your book?

3. Center Yourself

For me today, I centered myself through meditation. I closed my eyes and focused on my breath for 30 minutes. Meditation comes in many forms. It can be a walk or coloring. Just ensure that you are in the present moment and self-aware.

4. Do What You Do Best

In times like this, consuming (TV, media) can make you feel worse. Instead, produce! Do whatever you're good at or whatever you enjoy.

5. Don't Be Hard On Yourself

Forgive yourself for feeling jealousy. It does not make you a bad person. And remember  that comparing different people is like comparing apples to oranges. It doesn't make sense. The only person you can compare yourself to is you.

I hope this article finds you well.

Let me know what kind of blogs your interested in. I'm open to suggestions :)

Ang

Here is a link to my previous article:
My Calling: A "Plant-Based" Joruney | A Personal Story

And another relevant blog:
How To Deal With Negative Emotions

How To Deal With Negative Emotions

I bet it's safe for me to say that most people don't feel question why they experience positive emotions such as happiness. Why would we? It's a natural state that most humans strive for. But what about the polar opposite? People respond to these feelings very differently. I often see people dwelling or suppressing negative emotions.

But why would you do this? Probably because emotions such as anger and jealousy are unpleasant to experience. People who do not know how to handle such emotions often experience psychological problems. People who have pent up anger may lash out; people who refuse to admit to feeling jealousy may sabotage others; people who are chronically sad may commit suicide.

So how do you deal with such emotions? Think of this way. Yin and Yang, a Chinese Philosophy, states that things that are opposite or contradictory are actually connected and that one cannot exist without the other. Think of hot and cold; up and down. So why would we deny ourselves the right to experience every possible emotion? Because some are unpleasant. But just like happiness, they are also natural and necessary. Remember, positive emotions cannot exist without negative emotions.

The more we dwell or suppress our emotions, the stronger they become. So I have some suggestions on how you can handle negative emotions.

1. Admit What You Are Feeling

If you are feeling jealous because you boyfriend is talking to another girl, admit that you feel jealous. If you are upset because you did not get accepted to university, admit that you are upset. Be honest and open about what you are feeling.

2. Analyze Why You Are Having These Feelings

The best way for me to explain this is through example. Let's say you did not get accepted to the university of your dreams and you cry. Why are you crying? Because I'm sad (Tip 1). Why are you sad? Because I didn't get accepted to university. This reasoning is circular, so let's go a little deeper. Why does being rejected from a university make you upset? Because it confirms that I'm not good enough. Or because I won't be able obtain a good career and I'll be poor for the rest of my life. Now you have an understanding as to the real reason behind your emotions.

3. Understand That You Are In Control Of Your Life

Let's go back to the previous example. You know that a letter of rejection from a university does not dictate your worth. And not obtaining a career and being poor is a choice. These outcomes do not have to come to fruition. Life is about personal growth, development and progress. The choice is up to you. There are always other options. There is always a way. This is kind of like looking on the bright side of things. It will make it easier for you to come to terms with your emotions.

4. Love And Accept Your Emotions

Understand that the good cannot exist without the bad, Welcome these negative emotions with open arms. You are human and you reserve the right to experience and express any emotion.

Remember that what you are feeling is only a temporary state. I hope these suggestions help you to make room for infinite happiness.

Hope this helps.

Ang