It's so hard sometimes. It seems that your peers, friends, and family are always one step ahead of you. Your friend is getting married while you're just falling in love. Your sister bought her first home while you're only now establishing your career. Your cousin is making a career off his art work while you just enrolled in beginners dance lessons.
You find yourself feeling jealousy towards those who seem to be ahead of you. You struggle with coming to terms with this and your jealousy transpires into resent. You feel disgusted with yourself.
I don't know about you, but I want to be the type of person to feel happy for other's successes. And usually I do! But I am only human and I have imperfect moments. That's OK though. It means I still need to keep searching to understand myself a little better. And I love learning new things about myself.
I had an off day today. I felt bitterness and jealousy which left me in an emotional state. I don't like that feeling so I had to center myself. I mediated. And I came to the realization that we cannot feel happy for others when we are not happy for ourselves. When we are happy for ourselves, then we can feel happy for others.
But isn't that egocentric? Well... yes and no. We really need to learn to love and be happy for ourselves first and foremost. That's part of self love and it's crucial for our well-being. At the same time, we shouldn't just feel happy for other's when we have something that makes us look "equal to" or "better than" someone. Do you get what I'm saying? First, we need to learn to be truly happy and proud of ourselves first. Then, we can learn to be truly happy for others. I have some steps to help you on this journey.
1. Acknowledge That You Feel Jealous
I do not believe in suppressing emotions. Even negative ones. We are human and we reserve the right to feel every emotion and feeling there is. (I wrote a blog on that which I will link below). Acknowledge to yourself that you feel jealous. There is no shame in that. It happens to all of us.
2. Ask Yourself Why Your Are Jealous
Avoid superficial answers and dig a little deeper. Are you jealous your friend is getting married because you are not satisfied with your partner? Are you jealous that your sister is making a career from her art because it reminds you of your failed attempts at publishing your book?
3. Center Yourself
For me today, I centered myself through meditation. I closed my eyes and focused on my breath for 30 minutes. Meditation comes in many forms. It can be a walk or coloring. Just ensure that you are in the present moment and self-aware.
4. Do What You Do Best
In times like this, consuming (TV, media) can make you feel worse. Instead, produce! Do whatever you're good at or whatever you enjoy.
5. Don't Be Hard On Yourself
Forgive yourself for feeling jealousy. It does not make you a bad person. And remember that comparing different people is like comparing apples to oranges. It doesn't make sense. The only person you can compare yourself to is you.
I hope this article finds you well.
Let me know what kind of blogs your interested in. I'm open to suggestions :)
Ang
My Calling: A "Plant-Based" Joruney | A Personal Story
And another relevant blog:
How To Deal With Negative Emotions
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