How To Deal With Negative Emotions

I bet it's safe for me to say that most people don't feel question why they experience positive emotions such as happiness. Why would we? It's a natural state that most humans strive for. But what about the polar opposite? People respond to these feelings very differently. I often see people dwelling or suppressing negative emotions.

But why would you do this? Probably because emotions such as anger and jealousy are unpleasant to experience. People who do not know how to handle such emotions often experience psychological problems. People who have pent up anger may lash out; people who refuse to admit to feeling jealousy may sabotage others; people who are chronically sad may commit suicide.

So how do you deal with such emotions? Think of this way. Yin and Yang, a Chinese Philosophy, states that things that are opposite or contradictory are actually connected and that one cannot exist without the other. Think of hot and cold; up and down. So why would we deny ourselves the right to experience every possible emotion? Because some are unpleasant. But just like happiness, they are also natural and necessary. Remember, positive emotions cannot exist without negative emotions.

The more we dwell or suppress our emotions, the stronger they become. So I have some suggestions on how you can handle negative emotions.

1. Admit What You Are Feeling

If you are feeling jealous because you boyfriend is talking to another girl, admit that you feel jealous. If you are upset because you did not get accepted to university, admit that you are upset. Be honest and open about what you are feeling.

2. Analyze Why You Are Having These Feelings

The best way for me to explain this is through example. Let's say you did not get accepted to the university of your dreams and you cry. Why are you crying? Because I'm sad (Tip 1). Why are you sad? Because I didn't get accepted to university. This reasoning is circular, so let's go a little deeper. Why does being rejected from a university make you upset? Because it confirms that I'm not good enough. Or because I won't be able obtain a good career and I'll be poor for the rest of my life. Now you have an understanding as to the real reason behind your emotions.

3. Understand That You Are In Control Of Your Life

Let's go back to the previous example. You know that a letter of rejection from a university does not dictate your worth. And not obtaining a career and being poor is a choice. These outcomes do not have to come to fruition. Life is about personal growth, development and progress. The choice is up to you. There are always other options. There is always a way. This is kind of like looking on the bright side of things. It will make it easier for you to come to terms with your emotions.

4. Love And Accept Your Emotions

Understand that the good cannot exist without the bad, Welcome these negative emotions with open arms. You are human and you reserve the right to experience and express any emotion.

Remember that what you are feeling is only a temporary state. I hope these suggestions help you to make room for infinite happiness.

Hope this helps.

Ang