I'm excited to announce that this blog was written as a challenge with James from Manifesto Of Perfection. His blog focuses on self-improvement, fitness, and careers. You can check out his website here: https://perfectmanifesto.com/.
For this challenge, James and I decided to write on how to overcome fear of failure. We are both writing our own opinion on this topic based on our life experiences.
I hope you enjoy it. And don't forget to check out James' take on overcoming fear of failure. I will leave a link to his blog at the end of mine.
How To Overcome Fear Of Failure | Why "Failure" Does Not Exist
I often wonder how many people out there are not living their dreams because they are afraid of failing.
I also think back to my past. I have received several letters of rejection from university programs, failed tests that I studied so hard for, job interviews that I did not pass. Even now. My blog is very small despite the fact I have been blogging consistently for about 4 months now.
But you know what? I have never failed.
That previous statement probably doesn't make sense to you. I can see the wheels in your head turning. Ang, you just said you failed tests and you did not make it into certain programs. Well, failure does not exist in my vocabulary. I'll explain why via examples.
Let's say you are a new dancer. You know the choreography off by heart but you struggle with spins. You place your feet this way and that way and yet you keep tripping, slipping or it just looks awkward. Maybe you give up because you think you failed.
But this was not failure. It's called learning. You learned all the ways not to do spins in order to discover the correct way to do them.
Here is another example. I care for kids who have experienced trauma. I am trained to deal with outbursts, melt downs, and potentially dangerous behaviors. This use to give me anxiety. What if I tell a child it's time for bed and they yell at me and smash the TV? This would mean that I failed at my job, right?
But this is so far from the truth. An outburst does not mean the worker failed. Rather, these outburst are what we call an opportunity. An opportunity to learn more about this young person, their history, and their triggers. From that, we can develop a plan to try to lessen these outbursts. And there is never a guarantee that any plan will work. We can only try.
I'm going to go really deep with this last example to illustrate why failure does not exist.
You and your partner of 5 years have been having a really hard time. You have been doing everything you can to hold onto your relationship but despite your best efforts, it falls apart. You feel like you failed. You done everything you could but it did not work. Maybe this isn't your first failed relationship so you feel even worse.
Then with the passing of time your heart mends you fall in love again. This time you guys are married with children after several years and you're the happiest you have ever been. When one door closes another opens. There is a reason that saying exists.
After writing these examples I'm starting to see a common thread. "Failure" is an opportunity.
An opportunity to learn.
An opportunity to grow.
An opportunity to discover something even better.
In April of 2017 I applied for a masters program at my local university. Despite meeting and excelling all the requirements, I still got rejected. Sure, I got upset. But it was short lived because I knew there was a reason for it.
And now I'm here. Writing blogs on my days off. And I enjoy this so much more than being confined to a classroom.
Now I want you to do a little exercise. I want you think of a time that you "failed". It could be anything. How did you react? How did you feel? Did the world end? And now, most importantly: What did you gain from this experience? You may need to think hard and dive a little deep.
If you really can't think of anything, I'm sorry to tell you but you are not living your life to your fullest potential. And you deserve to live your life to the fullest.
So I encourage you do so. Apply to that university, enroll in singing lessens, book that vacation, ask that special person on a date.
There is nothing to lose but you have everything gain. And in the end, the only thing you will regret is not trying at all. Cliched? Maybe. But it's very true.
Thank you for your time.
I hope this blog finds you well and inspires you.
And don't forget to check out James' blog:
Check out my previous blog here:
If you're prepared to take chances but scared of moving out of your comfort zone, read this: