What I Ate Today (As a struggling vegan)

Vegetarianism came easy to me. Veganism... not so much. I think we can all agree that it can be difficult. We are so accustomed to certain foods not to mention the lack of vegan-friendly restaurants.

But veganism is important to me and I will keep getting back on the wagon.

I was off today and I ate healthy and vegan. I feel great physically and mentally! I would like to keep eating this way and document what I ate and how I felt. It helps keep me motivated and perhaps I can inspire and help others who our on a similar journey.

Breakfast

Breakfast has always been the easiest for me. I consistently keep it healthy. This morning I drank about a liter of water. I put frozen, organic berries in my water the night before so I woke up to fruity flavored water. After, I made a smoothie as I usually do. This one had a banana, some frozen pineapple, vegan vanilla protein powder, chia seeds, and a wheat grass blend which has many greens in a powder format. I usually prefer the actual vegetable but it is hard to come by good quality greens where I live this time of year.

Lunch

I had more berry flavored water and then I made a green smoothie. This one had apples, lemon, celery, spinach and chia seeds. I also made trail mix which had almonds, raw cashews, and raisins.

I usually eat more than this but I had breakfast rather late so I wasn't really hungry. This was more of a snack.

Dinner

Again, I drank my berry water. Then I made a fantastic Buddha bowl that I'm sure you have seen all over the internet. I believe the formal for these are: a fat, a protein, a gain, and vegetables. I used avocado and olives for my fat. Quinoa for my grain and chickpeas for my protein. I also had stir fried mushroom and cauliflower and raw kimchi. I added some seasoning like soy sauce, nutritional yeast, cayenne, and salt and pepper. It was one of hardiest meals I have eaten in a while! I loved it and I will definitely be making it again.

How do I feel?

It's 9:20P. I only had cravings after I had my dinner. I had a couple of errands to run after I ate and I assumed the cravings would be gone when I got back. When I came back about 45 minutes later, I still felt like I wanted to eat something. I got a cup of kumbucha green tea and my cravings subsided significantly.

I don't think I'm done eating. Me and boyfriend are going to watch a movie tonight. I figured it would be a better idea to prepare as opposed to try to resist my cravings and risk failing. I picked up some veggie chips that I will have with homemade guacamole and dark chocolate. I hate dark chocolate but I'm determined! Wish me luck : ) LOL!

I wish you peace and health,

Angie

Do you have repetitive, distressing thoughts? Read this.

There you are. Minding your own business when a thought pops into your head. It could be anything. Then suddenly, a feeling of dread comes over you. The thought is ridiculous. You know that. But it will not leave you. For as long as I can remember, I had these crazy fear-inducing thoughts. They would never leave me! And when it finally did, another thought replaced it.

I remember feeling miserable in high school. I lost interest in just about everything. I felt little joy during Christmas or during other exciting times. I had a tightness in my chest and I remember going home from school with panic attacks. I believe I started to feel depressed.

I always hoped that this was a phase and that when I become an adult, it would go away. Well, in my early 20s these distressing thoughts still raced through my mind. Coincidentally, I majored in Psychology. And I do believe in every way that it was meant to be. I remember studying Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). A certain component of the disorder caught my attention. OCD may be characterized by intrusive, obsessive, and often disturbing thoughts.

I could write a book about my experiences and the sequence of events that helped me gain control of thoughts. Instead, I have complied a list of what helped bring me back to reality.

1. OCD is a mental illness

There is nothing actually wrong with you for having distressing thoughts. Just because you thought of your spouse getting into a car accident does not mean you want them to die. Understanding that this is a disorder helped me so much.

2. Acceptance

This one was scary for me. Let's say you're worried you have a terminal illness and you have 6 months left to live. Accept it. I would tell myself that whatever will be, will be and I will deal with it when (or if) it ever happens. Spoiler alert: it never happened.

3. The majority of what you dwell on don't actually happen.

Just know that not one of my obsessive thoughts ever became a reality. And 90 odd percent of obsessive thoughts do not become a reality.

4. Everyone's brains are weird

Everyone in the world has had weird thoughts pop in their head. You are not alone. But people with obsessive-compulsive tendencies will dwell on these thoughts. But your thoughts does not equate with reality. They... are... just... thoughts.

5. Talk to a professional

I know, it's awkward, "Hey doc. So, I had a thought of a baby's butt and now I'm worried I'm a pedophile". But talking to someone who understands may be the best thing that ever happened to you. I wish I had seen a professional. I could have put all this in the past a long time ago.

6. Your brain is like a muscle

Spend too much time fixated on a thought, and that thought will become stronger than even. This goes for recovery as well. Breaking bad habits takes time so don't expect a complete change overnight. Keep practicing and eventually you will be able to control your thoughts and anxiety.

Becoming worry-free was so surreal. I took on new interests and hobbies and excelled in school. Something I didn't do before because my thoughts would distract and drain me.

Do I still have OCD? No, I don’t think so. Thoughts and anxiety no longer negatively affect my daily life. Do I still have obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I do. But the more time that passes, the stronger I become.

I can't wait for you experience that moment when you realize you are finally on your way to becoming worry-free. And I hope this is the beginning for you, if you haven't started already. And when feel yourself sink back into your thoughts, I hope you remember something  I said and brings you back to reality. Back to living and just being happy.  

Angie

If You're Tired Of Treating Acne With Diet... Read This.

I started to get mild to moderate cystic acne in my early 20s. I always intended to treat it with pharmaceuticals but I was indecisive about what route I should take. I didn't want to take antibiotics as it would render my birth control ineffective. I also didn't want to switch birth control because the one that I was using was working well. Fast forward today, about 4 years later, and I am no longer taking birth control nor did I take pharmaceuticals. My acne has improved significantly and for the most part, it is none existent.

What did I do to improve the condition of my skin? I decided to take a non-traditional (or perhaps more traditional depending on how you look at it) method. I spent literally years researching how diet can worsen and improve acne. There are so many people on the internet who claim that their acne disappeared when they went vegan, or eliminated dairy, or drank more water, and the list goes on and on. It's overwhelming.

Initially when I started making dietary changes, I honestly did not notice any improvements in my skin. I would do more research, watch another video, and do what these people did in a desperate attempt to clear my face. I became really passionate about healing the body through foods and yet I wasn't seeing any results. It was really frustrating. Why is it so difficult for me?

One day I got so overwhelmed with the condition of my skin. I needed peace. I needed something. So meditated and I came to a realization. What was the point of eliminating soy from diet when I only ate it a few times a month? Why should I drink more water when I already drink 2-3 liters a day? So is there something I'm consuming on a daily basis that is affecting my skin? There was and it was foods like bread and pasta. Wheat. I was a vegetarian but I wasn't necessarily health conscious. I ate so much bread, sandwiches, pizza, subs, and pasta. I cut back on those food groups and lo and behold, the cystic acne almost instantly stopped.

I'm not writing this blog to tell you that you must stop eating wheat if you want to clear your skin. What I'm saying is that there is so much information out there. You can search forever and never find a solution that works. This is because our bodies are so different. But I do believe that we intuitively know the answers when we look within and listen to our bodies.

If you are struggling to find a cure for your acne, I will tell you this. Yes there is a "cure". Center yourself. Breathe. Ask for a direction. Pay attention. Really listen. Keeping moving and you will see results.

I have a lot of experience with acne and managing it holistically. Although it's a pain, I do not regret it nor do I hate. I learned a lot from it. I plan on sharing those experiences with you at another time.

Take care of your beautiful body.

Angie

P.S. no, this is not a picture of me : )

Meditation Diary: Entry No. 1

I started meditating at around 10:50 PM. It was the deepest meditation I have ever experienced to date. While in a meditative space, I could see and feel the “space” that was behind my eye lids expand. I felt like I was in a different world. I concentrated on this without any thoughts interfering. I could also feel my third eye opening which is something I often experience. It’s like tingling sensation or a pressure close to the center of my forehead. I could clearly feel the blood flowing through my veins and my heart beating. It was pure bliss and I did not want to stop. I meditated for about 50 minutes. This was the longest time I have ever mediated. It did not feel that long though. Time seemed to escape from me during this period.

I think I may have been entering the astral realm. I would sink deeper into myself and I remember having this feeling of my body and soul/spirit separating. I cannot explain what this felt like. It was more of an intuitive feeling. I had a few fleeting images of myself as I was during this state as well as the sky and lights. This, however, did not last long.

As one would expect, I felt calm and at peace when I came out of meditation. However, very shortly after I started to become very aware of my own body and it felt like I was out of reality. I began to have distressing thoughts. What if the mediation caused this? What if I never feel calm and at peace again? These thoughts along with my already anxious state transpired into a panic attack. I felt like I was back where I started (I dealt with panic and anxiety my whole life). I couldn't make sense of what was happening.

I decided to do some research and I became bombarded with articles about the “negative” effects of mediation. My mind ran away with some ridiculous ideas which only exacerbated my panic attack. I slept on it, did a bit more research, and vented to my dad. I came up with a few ideas as to what was happening.

1. The first explanation is that I simply started over thinking, as I often do, and my body responded with anxiety. It had nothing to do with meditation and was merely a coincidence. Pretty basic and self explanatory.

2. The next explanation is that mediation can bring to surface suppressed anxiety. Anxiety that we have not come to terms with. This happens so that we can come to terms with it, put it in our past, and move on. It’s an emotional, mental, or spiritual detox if you will.

I feel that explanation 2 is more likely because of the way I choose to handle the situation. In the past, I would have let anxiety take over me or try so hard to suppress it. This time was different. I acknowledged that I was feeling anxiety but I did not attach any reason to it nor did I attach myself to it. Similar to what happened to me during mediation, I separated myself from the anxiety. Something that I was unable to do, nor would I want to, in the past. The symptoms of anxiety and panic slowly started to subside and I could feel myself come back to baseline which actually felt a little more relaxed than what it usually does. Yes, this was an uncomfortable experience. But with it, I feel like I am stronger mentally and spiritual.

August 1, 2016

Minimalism (unplugged)

Minimalism is taking the internet by storm and naturally, I'm interested. I have been trying to live a minimalist life for a while now and it takes time! I have 26 years of stuff that I have accumulated. It's hard to get ride of these things. But with time, you will notice your living space is a little less cluttered. And what a feeling that is. Space in one's body, mind, and physical space has always been something I live by.

If you do a YouTube search on minimalism, you will probably see things like "my minimalist room tour" or "minimalist room decor" or "how to dress like a minimalist". Isn't it ironic? Contradictory? Since I started watching these videos, I noticed I have been collecting more stuff. I need a table that looks like this or a article of clothes that looks like that to be a minimalist. I realize now that's total crap.

I watched a documentary the other day called "Minimalism". It was two men promoting their minimalist lifestyle in it's true and natural form. Now, they can literally fit all their belongings in one bag. That's intimidating to a lot of people including myself. But the documentary reminded me exactly what minimalism truly is. It's not about a fashion statement or showing off the lack of things one has. It's simply letting go of things that serve you no purpose or that has no value. That's it. It also teaches people to be mindful consumers. It's important to look at your purchases objectively. Will this item bring meaning to your life? It is helping you learn and grow? Will you love it 10 years from now? 

But minimalism will mean different things to different people. If you love art, it's totally OK to have paints, pens, markers, brushes and canvases. You love to paint and that brings value in your life. This can apply to anything. Are you a maximalist and can't imagine getting rid of your possessions? That's cool too!

I'm not blaming social media for my shopping. But it's easy to get a little too caught up in trends and forget the meaning behind them. 

I'm going to leave it at that. I think it's time to clean out my closet again. 

Ang

An Inspirational Blog

I often see people wanting more out of life. They may not hate their job. They may not be poor. But they do not feel satisfied. They feel like they can do more. But they often wonder if maybe that lifestyle is not meant for them. They wonder if they're meant to live a mediocre life. 

I want to get this out there. There is nothing wrong with a mediocre life. I'm sure that is what some people strive for. But I also want to say is that if you feel like you can do more with your life, then you can do more with your life. 

To do "more" with your life means to take chances, make changes, and get out of your comfort zone. I see the value in this (I will talk about this another time) and I understand that it can also be challenging. But I want to focus on another reason I feel people don't stick with their goals and dreams. 

In today's society with technology and social media, we are constantly coming face-to-face with other people. What they are doing, their successes, their glamour, etc, etc. This can be so discouraging. Especially if you are new to something. But I have learned, that these people have gained their successes and dream life by never stopping. For every A+, there was hundreds of hours put into studying. For every beautiful work of art was many failed attempts. For every book written was someone trying to overcome writers block... for the tenth time (and counting). 

You see, if you have a passion, a goal, a dream. Even an idea. You must follow through for it to become a reality. I does not matter how vivid your dream is or how positive you are (though this is important too). If you do not put the effort in you will not reap the benefits. However, if you do put in the effort and fail and keep putting in the effort, you will get results. That is the way the universe works. I have read about it. I have lived it.

I challenge you to follow your dream. I challenge you to work your days off and your weekends. To say no to nights out. To make sacrifices. It will be worth it. It is worth it. 

And if you feel discouraged remember this: Edison was called stupid and unproductive by his past teachers and bosses. He also made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at creating the light bulb. He was asked about failing 1,000 times. He replied, "I didn't fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps". 

This is incredible. Inspirational. Moving.

So go and work on your dream. Take breaks but never stop.

Oh, and Happy Easter :) 

Ang

Banana Cherry Smoothie Bowl

There is probably a good chance you have heard of smoothie bowls. And I get it if you're tired of seeing them on the internet. But this... this. I made this by accident and it was so good.

I love fruit in the morning. Nothing energizes and hydrates me more than fruit. But sometimes you don't want a drink (i.e., a smoothie). Sometime you want to eat! And you can do that smoothie bowls not to mention that fact that you can add your own toppings.

I never use exact amounts when I cook. It depends on what I have in my kitchen and what I am in the mood for. But I'm going to share with you the main ingredients I use when I make my smoothie bowl.

Base:

-Banana
-Cherry
-Strawberries
-Vanilla (or berry) flavored protein powder
-Water (or milk or juice) to blend

Toppings:

-Anything you please! I use raisins and cashews because I always have them on hand. You can use any nut, seed, more fruit or even a dollop of nut butter.

Most of the fruit you use should be frozen. That way, you can add more liquid to help it blend without it turning into a beverage. Plus, a cold smoothie bowl is so much more refreshing.

Hope you enjoy this recipe!

Ang

A Morning Routine That Eases Anxiety

Have you ever been woken from your sleep to anxiety? I have. This morning, actually. What a great start to your day. Yes, that was most definitely sarcasm.

I was off the past 3 days. I woke up before my alarm clock eager to start my day. I wrote, danced, played, and spent time with friends and family. It was pure bliss.

Then I woke up Monday morning with a racing heart, knots in my stomach, and a tightness in my chest. I had to go back to work. Now, don't get my wrong. I am not in a dead end job making minimum wage. I am so grateful for my job. But at the same time, it does not compare to spending time at home doing whatever you want. And don't get me started on those 12 hour shifts!

We all have to do things in life we rather not do. That's the reality for most people, whether it's temporary or not. With that being said, I have conjured a routine and habits so that these things do not take away from my happiness. I will share these with you. 

I usually don't work until later in the afternoon, so I do them in the morning when I wake up. I urge you to do the same. Make time. Make time for yourself. It's so important.

1. Show gratitude

Whether you're going to work or school. Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it. Show thanks. Not everyone is fortunate enough to do what you are doing.

2. Your situation is only temporary

You are not going to be in school forever and you don't need to work in your current job forever. If you are down because you want more out of your life, understand that your current situation is only temporary and that it is guiding you to where you need to be. 

3. Meditate 

I meditate for about 20 minutes. This helps bring me back to the present moment as opposed to focusing on something that hasn't occurred yet (such as my 12 hour shift tomorrow). 

4. Eat well

What is healthy for me may not be healthy for you. But taking the time to prepare a healthy meal is a great way to make yourself a priority. Plus, it gives the proper fuel for the day and so much more. Eat and eat well!

5. Find something to look forward to

This can be yoga, art, sports, or more meditating. I would stay away from media (television, Facebook) and stay within the realm of creativity. This will give you sense of purpose and achievement. Who wouldn't look forward to that after a day of work?

If your current situation gives you anxiety or causes you to feel down, know that you are not alone. 

I hope that these suggestions inspire you and help motivate you. I also challenge you to get creative and incorporate some of your own tips! 

Sending positive vibes your way,

Ang

Meditation For Dummies

No, I don't think you (or anyone) are dummies. But I found this title appropriate because most people think meditation is a lot more complicated than what it is.

Let me ask you something. How do you (generally speaking) meditate? What comes to your mind? Maybe you feel you need to get a pillow or blanket, sit down with your legs in full lotus, back straight, eyes closed. Maybe you think you need candles, dim lighting, music, chants and prayers. And there is a good chance that most people think they must clear their mind of all thoughts. 

Sure, these things can be done during meditation. I'm sure many people do. But they are not a requirement. Meditation is much simpler than what you may think. And that, in itself, is what makes meditation, well, meditation. Simplicity is key. 

Can you breathe? Yes. Then you can meditate. 

But isn't meditation suppose to be about clearing your mind of all thoughts? That is a goal of meditation, yes. But if you go into meditation with the expectation that you are not going to think, you are likely to get frustrated and give up.

I find this comparison helps people understand a little better. Let's say someone asks you to do 3 pull ups. If you do not work out and you have poor upper body strength, you are probably unable to this. But that does not mean the potential isn't there. If you started going to the gym and practiced, you will be able to do 3 pull ups in no time. Your brain works in a similar way. You need to "exercise" your brain in order to obtain a clear, conscious state of mind. 

Also, what happens when I tell you to NOT think of a pink elephant. Odds are, you thought of a pink elephant. I can promise you that the harder you try to suppress a thought, the more that thought is going to push back into your mind. That's my experience, anyways.

I'm going to share with you some tips that can help you with your meditation practice.

1. Get comfy

Whatever this means to you. I usually lie down. I find that if I sit up, I squirm to try to get comfy. Some people prefer sitting in chairs. Try different positions to see what works best for you.

2. Show gratitude

It doesn't matter to who or for what. It could be for the person who held open the door while you were carrying a bag of groceries. It could be for the glass of water you're drinking. I find that showing gratitude helps to center me and it brings me to the present moment. 

3. Let go expectations

You may have heard stories of people's experiences during and after meditation. If you go into meditation hoping and anticipating that something will happen, not only will it probably not happen but it will take you from the present moment. This is the opposite of what meditation is. Let go of any expectations. Just be in the moment and go with the flow.

4. Find something to focus on

This could be your breath, music, your body, a prayer or mantra. Anything. 

5. Let your mind wander

Yes, I said it. This is probably the opposite of what you heard. Now, I'm not saying to actively think and run with it. What I mean is that it's okay for weird and wonderful thoughts to occur. If they do (and they will), acknowledge your thought, set it aside (not literally), and with open arms, let the next thought come to mind if it so chooses to. Repeat this process it. Accept it and move on.

6. Bring you focus back

When you acknowledge that you are thinking, set that thought aside by bringing your focus back to your breath, mantra, etc that we discussed in tip 4.  

Step 5 and 6 will occur in cycles. With practice, you will have more focus and concentration and less thoughts

Don't give up! Continuing your practice even when it seems impossible is when the magic happens. 

Be present and accepting. Go with the flow. Most importantly, enjoy the process. 

Ang

Have you ever asked the Universe for a direction?

Have you ever asked the Universe for a direction?

I’m going to tell you a story about an experience I recently had. I applied to do my Masters in Counselling Psychology in January. I was confident. This was my path, I was ready, and I will be accepted into the program. I had my first lot of good news. I got a call from a faculty member for an interview. Great. I was on my way. Some time passed. Then a lot of time and I still never heard anything. I knew registration was soon and I had a bad feeling. I emailed someone from the program asking about my admission status. She thanked me for applying and then “with regret” informed me that I have not been accepted. A letter stating that I have not been accepted into the program came in the mail a day or two later. I had an electronic and a physical copy of my rejection. Nice.

Unable to get a hold of my emotions, I went in the bathroom and called my Mother and told her what happened. I sat on the bathroom floor and cried. After about 20 minutes of this, a voice came into my head. It was my own voice. I told myself to get off the bathroom floor, dry my tears, and show some gratitude. I still have a good paying job, I still have a house and car, I still have my family and health. To this day, I’m still amazed and how quickly I got back on my feet. (More on that another time.)

I reminded myself of a couple of things: first, the universe has a plan for me and I needed to believe in this always, especially in the face of “failure” or “rejection”. Second, this situation was the Universe telling me “not now” or “there is something better”. What I mean is that there are no failures and rejections. The Universe has a plan for everyone and it will happen when the time is right, when you least expect it. Also, that plan is going to be just as good, and probably even better, than what you initially had in mind.

Faith and patience is key.

The thought of this set back being part of the Universe’s plan for me made me feel… reborn. I began feeling as though I had a fresh start. I began excited to explore what the Universe has in store me.

I learned a few things from this experience that I wanted to share. They are important. I believe they can be life changing.

1. Failure and rejection does not exist

They are simply learning experiences that everyone endures on their journey. We might not understand the life lessons or reasons behind them right away. We may never understand. But they are there to teach us and to guide us.

2. Have an attitude of gratitude

We have tendency of being happy when things are going our way and feeling crabby and cheated when they don’t. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel disappointed or sad at times. Those are natural human emotions and you reserve the right to express them. But I dare you to express thanks and gratitude even when it seems like your world is falling apart. You will be amazed at the strength this can give you.

3. The Universe may say “not now” or “there is something else”

This may sound cliché to some and rubbish to others. But I believe it to be true. The Universe is on your side. If you are on some path (to find love, a dream job, etc.), and you believe that it will happen, the Universe will guide you to it.

Currently, I’m feeling lost and I’m unsure what path to follow. I’m not even sure what my options are. So, I recently shifted my thinking. Instead of saying “I want a dream job”, “I want to get accepted into this program”, I simply asked the Universe for a direction. I’m confident that it will not disappoint. I urge you to do the same.

May you feel blessed, may you find happiness.

Sending you (and myself) positive vibes,

Ang